Friday 5 May 2017

At this moment in time the world population is about 7.5 billion people. If each one of those people were a thread in piece of cloth that represented all beings in all times all over, I wonder what that cloth would look like. 
Years ago when I was at university and learning to weave, I decided to make up a warp comprised of different fibres, linen, cotton, silk and viscose if I remember rightly. This warp was trouble from the start because using mixed threads that were not equal in strength or elasticity meant that some, most notably the linen began to break almost immediately. I fixed them again and again but eventually I had to give in to their comparative weakness. The weave was not good as a piece of weaving but it was a storytelling device for me and a lesson well learned.
Although it is written as a human right, that we are all born equal, we are not. The thread from which we flow, our family line, bestows upon us first our genetic structure, or in reference to traditional chinese medicine, our essence, and if we should stay in that family we will meet with whatever that family has to offer in terms of wealth, heath, wellbeing, livelihood and lifestyle. These things vary wildly even within a single city let alone the whole world. 
Along the way our threads will jiggle up against others, and those too will affect the lay of our path, our fortune or misfortune. It is ongoing. And what is done is done, the wrongs we have committed, and those that have been committed against us, are written into our bodies, into the history of our being. 
So it goes that as we travel through life the colour, weight, texture, substance of our thread spins out behind us creating a unique pathway. What if that pathway was the path of love ? What if each one of us has the opportunity to be that ? To be a passage of streaming light ? But what if that streaming light is blocked or broken, smothered, defiled. 
Wouldn't it be wonderful if each one of us from birth to death could live in abundance and joy, never suffering, never causing suffering. But is such heavenly opportunity possible. It feels like such an innocent vision. On one hand I see it, and know that life is beautiful, that birdsong and flowers and children's laughter and easy friendship are blessings that cost nothing. But cynicism sets in. Who can say they've never done a thing wrong ? 
I am definitely not squeaky clean, shiny bright, I have jagged edges that catch on to negativity and break my flow, I can be sluggish, critical of myself and others, argumentative, ugh, all the horrible ugly things that no-one wants to be. And I get bogged down in my nastiness and the nastiness of the world around me, both locally and globally.   
When I am at my worst, when I hit up against the worst in others, how do I keep travelling ? How do I keep stepping forward tho' I have missed my footing, or found myself snagged or caught. This I think is where love comes in, unconditional love, love as a feeling guide. Not love as a flagellating "be nicer, be better" kind of love. but love as a beam of light illuminating the way before me. I can't claim to be this. But maybe my trying is a start. Maybe if, when my demons surface, I look to being light moving out of darkness, maybe I will begin to find it easier. 
This I think is the way of love, I do not live in a perfect world, I am not perfect myself, but this is the road that I am trying to walk, my road.



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