Monday, 2 January 2017

Hmmm, so what is my blog about ? Is it politics ? Is it art ? Is it my garden ? Or flowers in general ? Or where I go for walks, and who with ? Or yoga  ? Or shiatsu and traditional chinese medicine ? Or my emotional ups and downs, now and in the past ? I am not absolutely sure. It seems to be a bit of a hotch potch, a meandering journey through whatever is going on, is most imperative in my life, in the years since I began blogging when I was at university/art school. I started because one of our tutors recommended that we made a blog. Initially it was difficult to do, that "look at me" aspect of being is something I quite struggle with. Maybe because I was struggling with the visibility at first I kept my blog quite unemotional almost clinical, lots of photos documenting my work. But since then, over the years I have written quite personal disclosures every so often. My work is often related to my feelings so it seems appropriate even though I am aware that my exposure may put off readers and is an extreme form of "look at me". I think it's difficult to ever really know another's feelings so I can only work from my own experience, opening up on a page or computer screen is often a pit-stop on the journey towards constructing a visual representation of what I am feeling. And I think maybe that is why I try to translate my feelings into material form because a feeling is sometimes easier to relate to in that form and also easier to express, and witness. And sometimes I lose connection with my soul when I'm writing, the words can come out as blah .. it's worse when I'm talking. Sometimes someone will have seen a piece of work and connected to it on a feeling level and that gives me real joy because I think that's where I engage with the part of me that holds most true. 
And I guess, in truth, I believe that mostly no-one really looks at my blog, so I use it a bit like a personal notebook or diary and all the subjects, and more, that I've listed above go to make up who I am, and so are in important and worthy of note to me if not anyone else.  
Anyways, I'm not sure if fiddling about with four of the too many bottle-caps I've been saving and some old cardboard packaging really constitutes art, but play is certainly a necessary part of my life and ripples into every aspect of my being. So I thought I'd post the little car I play-made this morning.