My application for the Waveney River Sculpture Trail got accepted. I feel a mixture of excitement, nerves, joy, wonder and purpose which is a pretty good mix of feelings. 

Meanwhile work on my prayer wall project continues .. I love the fragility of the weathered cloth which seems so apt for what it represents to me.

A surprise parcel in the post is almost always something wonderful. Yesterday I received two books from my lovely friend Helen, who lives in America. One is a recipe book for dolls tea parties "Mud Pies and other Recipes" by Marjorie Winslow and the other is "Mr Rabbit and the Lovely Present" by Charlotte Zolotow with illustrations by Maurice Sendak. They will be quite awesome to share with my wonderful grandchildren. Elidi loves to make mudpies which is the beginning of many, many skills, cooking, gardening, socialising and the ability to imagine to name but a few. Many thanks Helen you made my day xx. Also thanks for the celestial tea postcard with the words of wisdom "Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished" - Lao Tzu.

Whew, where did February go ? The first part was spent working at the local art school, not in a glamorous role but helping with the new academic years intake of interviewees. It was inspiring on lots of levels to be there. 

And then I'd thought that I would have a quiet week this week getting my head into gear for the sdc showcase but it turned out to be a bit more go-ey than I'd expected. An artist friend, Holly Sandiford, put out for a couple of volunteers to help her set up a recovery though art weekly workshop and so I am committed to that for the foreseeable future. This looks like it could be very interesting work so I am excited to have been accepted as part of Holly's team. 

And the other thing I've been up to is putting together an application for the Waveney River Sculpture Trail. I know it's risky to talk up things that I haven't had a yes or no for but this brief really sang to me so I've got everything crossed and I'm putting out a fair whack of hope. Whatever the outcome of an application I have always found applying useful even when my proposal or work is turned down because the thought process and sketch-making that goes into getting it to a point that feels good enough creates a whole hive of new ideas and stretches me out of my safe space which allows me to grow as an artist. It's a win win situation really though I would really like to get this exhibition the Waveney Valley is a little bit lovely and it would be heavenly to have a good reason to spend some time there. 

It's been an interesting week, a bit of printing and dyeing, a fall down my stairs and a thanking my stars that I have a little paid work upcoming and excitement about a forthcoming showcase exhibition in York for the society of dyers and colourists http://www.sdc.org.uk/
The printing is a continuation and an amalgamation of a couple of projects I am working on. In 2013 I was given a bursary by the sdc to set up a dye kitchen in my work space. I was able to buy a set of scales, some dyes and some fabric with the money they gave me and it really made a difference to me. It allowed me to deepen my knowledge of how different dyes work on different fibres and as knowledge deepens it becomes know-how and that know-how opens up new pathways to explore.
From the sdc project, detailed on my website http://beccajiclfford.weebly.com/projects.html, sprang the work that I made for the Blue Jacket Textile fair in September 2014. I experimented using traditional shibori techniques, folding and tying to dye with rust and indigo and cyanotypes and had some interesting results which at some point, hopefully soon, I will post on my blog and document on my website. 
But this week I have been using dye and print to take my prayer wall project a little further. My prayer wall project is very close to my heart. A creative journey that just seems to give and give and give. A journey that seems to have a way of it's own, a way that I am quietly following and trusting. Is that the nature of prayer ? Is that the nature of creative process ? Where does one start and anther finish ? I don't know. And starting and finishing are also mutable points. But for the record, for my record, amongst other things I have been working on this week I have now begun a new chapter in my prayer wall project that feels like it could be rewarding.  

And today I had a bonfire in my garden in the afternoon as the moon was rising and the blackbirds were calling bedtime. I noticed that two clumps of primroses have started to flower and tho' it is still bitterly cold it is beginning to feel like spring is on the way with my camelia bush heavy with bud and the leaves of spring bulbs pushing through.

I've been hankering for a little sea air for a while now, so on saturday I gave myself the space to stretch my legs and breathe in some salt and to think in a place where the wind could blow away my thoughts and the cold could cut through my densest reasoning. 
I took the train to Cromer and walked, with the sea to my side, to Sheringham. For some reason I generally go from Sheringham to Cromer, cutting inland at West Runton, when I walk this stretch of coast. Funny how easy it is to get fixed in a habit. So for a small change I did it in reverse, which of course meant that I saw things differently, which maybe also allowed me an alternative view into my self too. 
I've been wondering who I am of late. A beach walk with photographs to prove my existence in a time and place perhaps offers me something more substantial than my ongoing life which feels insecure. Maybe it is the lack of witness that makes it feel that way. 
I know that doubt and uncertainty are often creative fields to plough but with the sense of possibility comes also fear, fear of the unknown, fear of change and fear of making a mistake. I'm a bit prone to fear. It is a feeling that I battle in situations that don't require fear at all. Battling with that level of anxiety is quite disabling. 
I'm not quite sure why that has come up whilst writing this blog post, which is nominally about a walk on a beach, but I think maybe it is pertinent to my being, my work, my integrity, and who I am, so I'll leave it in and make a casual assumption that blogs are alot like diaries and not read by many people other than the writer. 
This photo is my favourite from my walk. It is looking back at Cromer pier from some distance and I like the reflections of the sky and cliffs on the wet sand.