ASU2. SNU. I will begin at the beginning! I will begin at the beginning of the beginning of the two modules i need to submit. The two modules are called SNU and ASU2. My ASU2 module is built upon retelling the story of Jesus Christ's journey to the cross, known as the stations of the cross, in my head this also includes the story of his birth, and life, and the people who are part of his life story either because they have a relationship or because they are actors within the story i.e Veronica or Simon.. My SNU module began with a desire to give space in my life to Jon, who i loved, to give the time we spent together record because it was mostly unwitnessed, a between we-two experience, to give it place on the thread that is my life in the hope that acknowledging our time together would let me also acknowledge that his death was not the end of my life. I came to my MA hoping to learn how to tell stories using visual media, most specifically wanting to learn the basics of printmaking, to build rudimentary foundations that would act as a platform for learning after graduating, the year to date has been about picking up these skills from knowing little to nothing. 
In term one in RIPU i looked at objects and their meaning and how objects could hold a story. And in ASU1 i explored the story of Rama and Sita's love affair as described in the Ramayana. I used time in the print studios to begin to meet my materials, exploring papers, mark making on copper (sugar lift, soap ground, photo etching and soft ground), mono printing, inks, colour and layering. I also occupied some space in the 3d workshops working with objects being cast in metal using the burning out method (organic materials that get burned to nothing when the metal is poured into the cast. My aim in my second term was to keep learning about printmaking processes, and to learn how to make moulds of objects to extend my knowledge of casting materials. Also to cast objects in wax to use for metal casting using the same principal as the burning out method described above. I think this is called lost wax casting. I also wanted to find out more about working with the 3d printer in case it should be a tool i might need to use for my master's project. One of the things i had hoped to be able to do was to use this term to learn more about finishing objects cast in metal but unfortunately lockdown prevented that and all the wax objects i have made this term, apart from the origami bowls made at the beginning are unfinished, tho I was able to retrieve most of them from the workshop and saw them off their base cups using a hack saw in the week before the university closed. 
If i am to begin right at the beginning i have to go back to the christmas holidays because that is when the seeds of the stories i was planning to tell were planted. Having handed in, and recovered from the bewildering shock of the Conservatives winning the General Election, in the run up to christmas i began drawing, with a found rainbow pencil and and a brown pencil and an ordinary pencil, scribbles depicting the christmas story and christ on the cross, no more than doodles but allowing my hand to give my thoughts body. At the same time i was looking for a specific image of Jon that i knew i had on a memory stick and found several pictures of him i didn't realise i had, Jon in his garden, and mine, and others. It brought it home to me that i needed to give him physical space in my life. He is/was important to me, the love of life, and yet i had almost no pictures of him except on my computer so i scoured through what I had and picked one to make into a photo etching when term restarted. I also decided to make a companion print from a photo of a strange scene of two statues in a garden in Southwold that i took on my first visit to Southwold after he died. Southwold was one of our places so returning there was an important part of my grief process. 
When the university opened in the new year it wasn't possible to get into our studio spaces as our term1 work was still being marked so i spent time in the library looking for books and films that related to the themes i was exploring and also to printmaking. I discovered the film Hunger by Steve McQueen and watching his interview on the DVD extras about his process led me to leafing through the only book i could find on the library shelves devoted to his work, some of which was interesting, some less so. I also watched Shame which i found less good than Hunger. For me Hunger was a film i needed to watch again, Shame not so much. I also re-watched A Thousand Times Goodnight and Jesus of Montreal. And for the first time Stations of the Cross directed by Dietrich Bruggemann. I became interested in why people become to driven to die for a cause or their faith. I thought about the conflict of interests going on in the middle east especially the conflict between Israel and the Palestinians. About land and territory and how Palestine was given to Israel by people who had no right to give it. I thought about how Israel has bitten chunks out of Palestine for decades now and wondered how i would respond to another party acting in that way towards me and what i considered to be mine. I found a book first published in the 1934 "In the Steps of the Master" by H.V Morton about the state of Palestine before WW2. I also looked at poets: R.S Thomas, Dylan Thomas, Sylvia Plath, Ted Hughes, Sharon Olds and others. 

Bibliography
Anderson, D E. R S Thomas: Poet of the Cross. https://www.pbs.org/wnet/religionandethics/2011/04/20/r-s-thomas-poet-of-the-cross/8661/ (Accessed December 29th 2019)

A Thousand Times Good Night (2014) Directed by Erik Poppe [DVD]. Sweden: Arrow Films
Freidli, I (2012). Steve McQueen Works. Switzerland: Laurenz Foundation.
Hunger () Directed by Steve McQueen [DVD] 

Jesus of Montreal (1989) Directed by Denys Arcand [Film]. Canada: FremantleMedia. 
Lehoczky, E. Cartoonist Lynda Barry: Drawing "Has To Come Out Of Your Body" https://www.npr.org/2019/11/27/782921983/cartoonist-lynda-barry-drawing-has-to-come-out-of-your-body?fbclid=IwAR3tS5-0Z4WwSIwK9zcTVEwXeKelQcFmcv8OtaUoJVQdLLvavf3jniyXD48&t=1577682071685 (Accessed December 29th 2019)
Morton, H.V. (1934) In the Steps of the Master. London: Rich & Cowan Ltd.
Stations of the Cross () Directed by Dietrich Bruggemann [DVD]     

     

This blog is me trying to get to grips with handing in the work i have made this term. I am using my blog today because i feel all at sea with this hand in. Until the covid19 virus i was on a trajectory to hand in physical documentation. And I had a mental trajectory of where i was going to take my work. There is nothing i can do about the change of circumstances, they are what they are, i/we will have to wait it out hoping that the people we love get through this and feeling bad for those who lose their lives and their bereaved families and hoping our minds and hearts can bear what is happening. We are supported, or not, by our governments and those who have control over our wellbeing. 
One of the bodies that has control over my wellbeing is my university. In order to finish this term i have to submit the portfolio of work that i would have given them as a physical body as an online catalogue with a description of how the work was made, why, what i learned, and what i was planning to do, but not necessarily including work i made after lockdown tho of course it is relevant to the work i was making before tho not the same. If i had made less work, worked less hard, this would be an easier task. As it is i put in the hours and built a good physical portfolio made to be seen and handled. 
I am glad that i only missed one of the timetabled sessions with tutors, it means that if they were paying attention they have seen my work on paper, not just as photographs. Photographs are a good but limited format, bad work can be made to look better and good work rarely looks as good in a photograph as it does in reality. Photography can of course be the medium an artist uses and that is another matter. I have been exploring print, using photographs, perhaps i should enjoy the circular journey that necessity has forced upon me but to date i am not, its annoying, frustrating and saddening and is forcing a long dull path on me that i have no choice but to follow if i want to pass this module. And heaven knows if i will pass because i'd worked my butt off during the term and was planning to do the reading and writing in this time which now i have to use to essentially re-do the work in a format that allows my tutors and their assessors to see what i have done. 
I think i am going mad with this submission. I don't know how many people have died from this virus so far 13,000 or 14,000 and still more every day to date i think in the uk alone. Learning outcomes feel like part of a world that is no longer fit for purpose, a world that will need a new score, a new way of recognising value that is not tick boxes and bean counting but built upon worth that is clear in the way that birdsong, butterflies, love and care are clearly worth something and badges, medals and political platforming and promises aren't. 
I guess this blog is an introduction. I am handing in these blogs as my reflective journal. God knows the blogs at the beginning of the term will probably seem as irrelevant as the marking system i'm struggling with. I know that i have no choice but to walk the designated road to submission on May 14th because if i don't all the days before will be erased from my work sheet and i will have to start again but if this blog is anything its an explanation for the next few blogs being a bit stiff. If you are reading this and are a regular reader you may want to skip the stiff pages. And if you are one of my tutors or an assessor and obliged to read the whole shebang i hope that it passes muster and that i don't repeat myself too often tho' i suspect that i will by accident because not having designed my hand in to be handed in in this way i am building with materials that were made to be shown in a different way.